


EL DORADO

by LIZARDCLUB



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, M/M, Other, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:31:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4254714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LIZARDCLUB/pseuds/LIZARDCLUB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is sex. Kaneki, Tsukiyama, and a bowling ball are involved. Don't ask me how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	EL DORADO

**Author's Note:**

> Written by "Asstronaut" as a prompt from "Ace" when they were very very bored. This is a very serious piece of fiction right here.

Mister kaneki san and the tsukiyama were on a date. Why they were on a date we will never know. They were at a café. Maybe it was anteiku. We will also never know that. After several hours of kaneki looking at this disaster like ‘wtf’, tsukiyams finally says ‘~kaneki kuuun~ I want to eat you while you eat a burrito.’. kaneki is confused. How is he saying the squiggly lines out loud? Kaeneks says back ‘I cant eat a burrito. I am indeed a ghoul. I cant believe you forgot that you French piece of shit’ tsukiyams is confused. ‘~kaneki kun, you are simply not thinking dolce enough. The burrito is my ass’ he said with a really really homosexual flourish. 

Kaneggi is stunned. His heart says no but his body, his body is telling him yes. He shurgs in a very precious way. He continues to do nothing wrong. He says ‘okay maybe, but buy me dinner first’. Flower man is questioning ‘but kaneki you literally just said you cant eat what the fucking shit. Dolce’ ‘oh yeah. Then buy me coffee first because coffee is the only thing I can fuckin drink’ replied kanekiiiii in a very cool way, not gay at all. But. Tsukiyama had already got him coffee. That’s why they were on the date. Kaneki is very surprised by this. He didn’t realize there was coffee in front of him. It was so cold. Coffee shouldn’t be cold. The entire world became cold. Tsukiyama froze over. The world entered an eternal winter. But then the coffee lady came over and asked tsukiyamamama ‘what do you want?’ tsukiyama said ‘~I want kaneki kun, no kiddingu’. The coffee lady went to get another coffee because kaneki is dumb and didn’t drink his coffee in the first place. But we must remember that he did nothing wrong so it’s ok. The lady returns with coffee and moonmountainman spills it on kaneneki. ‘HEARTBREAK’ tsukikikik yells at the top of his lungs and picks up kane with his arms and runs like sonic. He is so fast. He runs to kaneki no uchi. 

He says ‘~kaneki kun these pants are very caffeinated’ and off they come. Dolce. Suddenly there are o clothes. Where did they go? It doesn’t matter because who needs clothes anyway, especially in a smut fic. The kagunes are suddenly out. There is the sound of ripping flesh. You know if the kagunes were anatomically correct they would leave massive amount of skin damage when they retracted. And maybe blood. Basically I don’t know how kagunes work. And evidently neither do these two because kagune’s are not supposed to go up butts but that’s just how things turned out I guess. So tsukiyama is on his hands and knees on the bed and kaneki-kuns kagune is up his ass. No lube because we all know that ghoul assholes are self-lubricating. Every time that the kagune goes deeper inside him the the giant pile of trash would count higher in French. Kaneki had no idea what he was saying but it sounded very baguette. He was about to reach the tenth number when all of a sudden they heard soft singing. It said ‘oshiete, oshiete yo, sono shikumi wo’ or something like that. 

Tsukiiiiiiiiii liiks at centipede-sama and says ‘~was that you kaneki-kuuuuuuuuuuun?’ kaneki says ‘no. it was my pet bowling ball. Its name is bowling ball-chan’ ‘oh’ says tsukidsiubv;idr, ‘bowling ball-chan has a very dolce dolce amore singing voice’. Because of this the bowling ball comes into the room because bowling ball-chan loves compliments. ‘(^o^)’ says the bowling ball. ‘how did you say that’ says kaneggeggegg. The bowling ball shrugs without shoulders. After the song was finished, the bowling ball said in a very homosexual voice ‘I can also be a BLOWing ball’ and starts to suck kanekis kokoii. So now we have bowling ball-chan sucking kaenenene’s dick and kanekilen has his kagune inside tsukiyamas ass. Bowling ball-chan begins to sing a song while sucking dick at the same time. Bowling ball-chan went to a special school to learn how to that. Got a bachelor of the fine arts. Took 4 years of tertiary educations. Basically bowling ball-chan is my new fav. After like 2 minutes of this the song ends and so does tsukiyama if ya know what I mean. When he blows his load he screams ‘EL DORADO!!!!!’ and suddenly they are surrounded by gold. There is gold everywhere. Why is it here. The natives look up at them in disbelief. Why are there two men and a bowling ball fucking in the fabled city of el dorado?


End file.
